Parenting 2: The search for Identity
Rapid, confusing and often uncomfortable body changes and the emotional roller coaster of the developing brain can result in a young person struggling to understand who they are as a person. Puberty is a time when the young person is no longer content with being the child – daughter – son. Rather it is a time for seeking and establishing an independent knowledge of ‘who I am’ – an independent Identity. A young person may look at themselves in the mirror, and think ‘Who is this person?’ or even, ‘I don’t like this person. He/she is too fat – thin – fair – dark – wrinkled or whatever.’ Or when...
Read MoreParenting 1: The developing (tween-teen) brain
I have been invited to do a series of short segments for CMS parents and teens. So – I’m sharing with you. Here’s the first. Recent research confirms what many of us have known intuitively, the brain in children and teenagers is a work in progress. This doesn’t imply that the teen brain is less efficient than adult brains, in fact the opposite is probably true. It means that the parts are maturing at different rates and the very rapidity of change makes the brain exquisitely sensitive to both internal emotions and external influences. What happens? An extensive remodelling,...
Read MoreMars and Venus? Understanding our sexual response
We are sexual beings: man and woman, before God and each other. It is the way we are created. It applies to our body, brain and behaviour. Yes, including our sexual behaviour. And it is good. In fact God says it is very good[1]. We need to embrace this complementarity if we want to have the best sexual relationship possible with our spouse. When it comes to our sexual response, there are certain basic processes in both men and women: There is sexual desire, which is a brain event signalling a wanting or motivation for sex, the body response of sexual arousal, and finally, the brain...
Read MorePregnant – and Sexy?
You waddle into the room. You feel – huge. Just yesterday in the bathroom mirror you saw the shiny stretch marks on your once tight and taut abdomen. Your breasts feel like melons. Your legs like tree trunks. Sexy is what you do not feel. And yet – your husband wants to make love. He says you look lovely. ‘Ripe’ he said! Or maybe you have just found out that you’re pregnant, and wonder how it will affect your sex life. You have so many questions. Let’s try work through some of them: Is it safe to have sex when pregnancy? If you have a normal pregnancy, you can have sexual intercourse as...
Read MoreHoneymoon Sexpectations (a blog for newly weds)
You have kept yourself pure – and finally it’s here. Your wedding night. You can let all your inhibitions go. You will have amazing, mindboggling sex. Desire unfettered by the boundaries you have placed on your intimacy will result in earth shattering simultaneous orgasms. Maybe it lived up to your expectations. If so, well done and congratulations. Read on anyway, you will learn ways to keep the spark in your relationship alive and growing. However, there are many couples for whom the experience of sex during the honeymoon and the first months fail dismally to live up to expectations. Some...
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