Posts made in May, 2013

To a Porn user: Working with accountability mentors

Posted by on May 27, 2013 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

To a Porn user: Working with accountability mentors

Dear John You asked me to send you some information on accountability. Point 1: You have to stop watching the images, videos, internet sites, TV shows. We did discuss this. I am glad that you have taken the  responsibility. Remember, your wife is your partner in the process. She is neither responsible for your porn use; nor can she police your activities.  This complete withdrawal may feel painful at the beginning, remember Christ’s words: Mark 9:47 “..And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have...

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Porn: The ultimate idolatry?

Posted by on May 18, 2013 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Porn: The ultimate idolatry?

Pornography is defined as ‘sexually explicit media that are intended primarily to sexually arouse[1]. ‘Sexually explicit’ representations include images of female or male nudity or semi-nudity, implied sexual activity and actual sexual activity (literary or graphic). Let’s look at porn from the viewpoint of Genesis 1 and 2. Here we get a Bible based, God focussed understanding of sex as a gift from a good and gracious God. Male and female, embodied and relational: “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)....

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Porn as a relationship breaker:

Posted by on May 14, 2013 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Porn as a relationship breaker:

Over ninety per cent of men would have viewed porn in some form before marriage. Many are occasional users, going there when stressed, tired or as a release for sexual tension. However, the images and behaviours they see wheedle their way into the brain. Porn sex does not include affection, intimacy or expressions of love. There is no kissing, cuddling or foreplay. The focus is on male pleasure with an apparently ever-available complaint partner. These expectations get carried to real life relationships, with unreal expectations of sexual behaviour, abuse and finally infidelity and...

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A letter to a porn user

Posted by on May 5, 2013 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

A letter to a porn user

Dear John I talked to your wife today. She is deeply distressed. I think you can guess why. She feels it is her fault that you are into porn. That she is not as sexy as the women you see in those images. Or because she is unwilling to do some of the sexual acts you have asked her to do. You have promised her before that you would give it up. But you didn’t stop did you? In fact you have gone from images to videos and now watching on your i-phone. And you have come up with excuses. As a therapist I have heard these all before. You say: ‘I look, but only very occasionally’ –...

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