Posts made in June, 2016

Parenting 6: Dating and mating – science, culture and the word of God

Posted by on Jun 6, 2016 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Parenting 6: Dating and mating – science, culture and the word of God

Sexual desire, is a wonderful powerful craving for something, anything sexual. It simmers in your emotional brain from puberty, ever ready to erupt if stimulated, but amenable to suppression from your control brain. Falling in love on the other hand focusses the energy of sexual desire on one person, and the beloved becomes the centre of your universe. Fortunately, this dopamine driven obsession usually lasts only 18 to 24 months. This period of romantic love should come with a ‘lover beware’ notice, because decisions taken under the influence[1] can be unwise for your future. How should we...

Read More

Parenting 5: Limerence, Romance – Science, culture and the word of God

Posted by on Jun 5, 2016 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Parenting 5: Limerence, Romance – Science, culture and the word of God

Feel the energy of the teenage Romeo’s emotions: ‘Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs; being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes; being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers’ tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall, and a preserving sweet.’ Sometimes it lifts you to dizzying heights and then drops you to the depths of despair. And at other times, it’s a comfortable, warm togetherness. Above all, it’s a need to be with that person and get to know him or her closely and intimately. The brain in love: Scientists are beginning to understand what happens in the...

Read More

Parenting 4: Sexual desire: science, culture and the word of God

Posted by on Jun 4, 2016 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Parenting 4: Sexual desire: science, culture and the word of God

‘Love -’ said Shakespeare’s Romeo ‘- is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers eyes. Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet.’ Many years later Professor Helen Fisher, whose research laid the foundations for the tripartite division of sexual desire, limerence and attachment says: ‘Everywhere people sing for love, pray for love, work for love, live for love and die for love. Nothing can extinguish the human drive to love.’ God, who enjoys giving good gifts to his...

Read More

Parenting 3: Sex Science, Society and the word of God

Posted by on Jun 3, 2016 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Parenting 3: Sex Science, Society and the word of God

There are many lenses through which we can view sexuality. How we integrate these will affect our attitudes, values and behaviour towards ourselves and others. This becomes our worldview. We will explore the three main lenses, science, secular society and the word of God; and discuss how our integration of these in our worldview affects sexual desire, limerence (falling in love), and sexual intimacy (attachment or bonding). Lens of science: Brain imaging, neurochemical mapping and genetic studies have given us a look into ‘how things are’ at subcellular, chemical and genetic levels. If this...

Read More

Parenting 2: The search for Identity

Posted by on Jun 2, 2016 in Blog: Doing sex God’s way

Parenting 2: The search for Identity

Rapid, confusing and often uncomfortable body changes and the emotional roller coaster of the developing brain can result in a young person struggling to understand who they are as a person. Puberty is a time when the young person is no longer content with being the child – daughter – son. Rather it is a time for seeking and establishing an independent knowledge of ‘who I am’ – an independent Identity. A young person may look at themselves in the mirror, and think ‘Who is this person?’ or even, ‘I don’t like this person. He/she is too fat – thin – fair – dark – wrinkled or whatever.’ Or when...

Read More